


cut a hole in the bathtub

by god1lya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Dirty laundry references, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Rating May Change, Tags May Change, hungarian-japanese matsukawa issei, hungary - Freeform, this is an excuse for me to rant about my culture, title is a hungarian song, title may change, vágjál lyukat a kádba - intim torna illegál
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/god1lya/pseuds/god1lya
Summary: Issei isn't stupid. He's read Dirty Laundry. He knows how this will end. And still, he finds himself wanting to show Takahiro his country. He wants to introduce him to his family. He wants to eat túró rudi with him. So he says fuck it, puts his cigarette in the owl-shaped ashtray Oikawa bought for Bokuto's 22nd birthday and he walks back into the apartment...in which Matsukawa Issei finds himself on a plane to Hungary with his family and his best friend.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Original Female Character/Original Male Character, implied Iwaoi - Relationship, implied bokuaka - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	cut a hole in the bathtub

**Author's Note:**

> hiya hi hi <3 hope u guys will be interested in my culture heheh  
> me on twt: @G0D1LYA  
> beta by @tebbykawa on twt

He's been ignoring the violent ringing of his phone for about 6 minutes now and if he wasn't so _fucking tired_ he would get up and slam the loud piece of shit into his wall. Thank God he's this tired because he really can't afford a new one. He's tried suffocating himself with a pillow about 3 minutes in, hoping the lack of oxygen would make him pass out and he could finally block out the annoying music blasting from his nightstand but to his dismay it didn't work and it's been 7 minutes and he's gonna kill whoever's calling. 

He sits up with a groan and squints at his digital clock and it's fucking 9AM on a Sunday morning. He wonder how his roommates haven't woken up to his ringtone yet, because there was no way they were awake yet. The ones he knew would be up are probably on a run or getting breakfast.

His phone keeps ringing and he's losing patience. If he was anything like that kid from his literature class, Miya or whatever, he'd pick up his phone and yell in it without checking the caller ID, but thankfully he's much smarter than the blond and actually looks at the screen, which saves him from screaming at his mom.

"Hey" he mutters, as if he didn't ignore the poor woman for a good ten minutes. He rubs his eyes, there's no way he'll be able to sleep back after this.

"I thought you'd never pick up!" comes his mother's voice immediately. "Wait, I didn't wake you up, did I? I'm sorry _babám_ , I thought you'd be awake, you know, like a functioning adult." He snickers. She just had to roast him the moment he woke up. He wonders how his dad stands it.

"What did you want, anyway?" he says. He barely talks with his family anymore. Not because they're on particularly bad terms but because the Matsukawas hate phone calls. Ever since Issei moved to Tokyo for university they had like three calls, two of which were birthday greetings. So yeah, there had to be a pretty big reason for this conversation. 

He stands up and cracks his back. Then his neck. Then his wrists and his ankles and as he bends down to unplug his phone from his charger his knees crack too. Being 23 is fun.

"Oh, right! I hope you don't have plans for summer break because grandma wants to see us, She said to bring your girlfriend." He stopped in his tracks. This could go a way he really does not want it to go.

"Like grandma from Osaka or-"

"No, grandma from Csopak. Your passport better still be valid because we're flying on Tuesday." The woman did not sound impressed either. It's been five years since he last talked to his Hungarian family. He still speaks the language, of course, his mom would end him and his sister if they forgot her mother tongue, but he's only been to the country a couple times and he didn't think it would change soon. It's a 16 hour flight after all. 

He decides to focus on a different issue.

"Do you really expect me to find a girlfriend who's willing to fly to Europe with me? In two days? As a gay man, nonetheless." he shakes his head, although his mom couldn't see that. He sits down on the sofa in his room, mind racing.

"Look, _baba_ , I don't really care who you bring. Akari doesn't have a boyfriend either, she's bringing her classmate, you know, I think his name is Sora, or something. You could bring one of your friends too. Just, please, bring someone. Let poor woman think you have a stable life and aren't living in an apartment with your friends from high school."

"I feel like at this point you're just bullying me, _anya_ " he acts offended. He stops to think for a second, then sighs. "Okay, I'll try talking one of the boys into coming with me. No girls though. You prepare grandma."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Call me back when you decided, we have to order the tickets." his mom says and hangs up. 

"Bye..." Issei throws his phone on his bed and puts his head in his hands. He planned to stay at home all summer, maybe go to a few festivals with his roommates, anything but going to Europe. And this whole partner thing... Is he really gonna have to bring a fake boyfriend? Is this fucking Dirty Laundry? _Nagyi_ is coming?

He decides to ignore his misery and start thinking about _who_ to bring while making his way to the kitchen to make a coffee. He doesn't have many friends in college, save for that one blonde girl he helped calm down before an exam. Miya isn't really his friend, he only knows him because of volleyball, so that leaves his roommates.

He could bring Iwaizumi. He's hot, responsible, he'd probably like his family but he works all summer. Immediately off the list, as much of an asshole Issei is, he doesn't want to cause problems to the man who almost broke his hand while arm-wrestling in their third year.

He _could_ bring Oikawa, but he really doesn't want to spend his entire summer with his high-maintenance ass. He'd probably whine all the time and he'd be a terrible fake boyfriend. He crosses off his imaginary list dumpster fire of a man that Oikawa Tooru is.

He pours some milk in his coffee and grabs a spoon to stir, then walks out to the balcony. Being July, it was already pretty hot, so he doesn't have to worry about grabbing a sweater. He puts his mug on the floor as he takes out his lighter and shakes his pack of cigarettes. He lights one, inhales and sighs. 

He also has the misfortune of living with Bokuto Kotaro and Terushima Yuuji. They weren't even on the imaginary list to begin with - they'd probably annoy him so much during the sixteen hour flight that he'd immediately be jailed for manslaughter on arrival. No offense, really, he loves the guys but they're both frat boys and that's enough to throw Issei off.

Only man in sight left is Hanamaki Takahiro. There's nothing wrong with him. That's probably the issue itself. He's too perfect. Him and Issei have been best friends for at least eight years of their lives and they're already pretty touchy with each other, he'd be an amazing fake boyfriend _and_ he doesn't work. Not just during summer, in general, but that's not Issei's problem. What _is_ his problem, though, is the massive crush he had on him a few years ago that he really doesn't need resurfacing.

Issei isn't stupid. He's read Dirty Laundry. He knows how this will end. And still, he finds himself wanting to show Takahiro his country. He wants to introduce him to his family. He wants to eat _túró rudi_ with him. So he says fuck it, puts his cigarette in the owl-shaped ashtray Oikawa bought for Bokuto's 22nd birthday and he walks back into the apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> did ya see the hungarian words in italic? here are the translations i promise there'll be more
> 
> babám - my baby, conjugated  
> anya - mom  
> nagyi - granny  
> baba - baby, not conjugated


End file.
